A Bitter Cup

Last night I sat and held my 21-year-old daughter while she cried. I listened to her pour out her grief, and pain and anguish at the loss of her friend. Her friend from college who died in an automobile accident. "Why?" she asked, "Why didn't God stop it?" "Is it okay to be angry with God?" "What good can come from Josh's death?" How do you answer questions like that? How do you console your child? What do you say when your sweet precious daughter tells you, "My college life is book-ended with death." At the beginning of her freshman year, her boyfriend's 12-year old sister committed suicide. Now, at the end of her senior year, Josh is gone. And in between, there were other deaths. More pain and loss in her young life than one should be expected to bear. We sat and talked until the wee hours of the morning. She didn't want to go to sleep because she was afraid of bad dreams. So we talked. We remembered. We laughed. We cried. I shared scripture with her, and assured her that no matter what, God is still there and still loves her. That God was there with Josh through it all - all Josh had to do was reach out to him. "I prayed for Josh," she said. "Do you think that God heard my prayers?" "I'm sure He did." I'm oh, so sure He did. She was so torn about what to do today. Should we drive the 7-hour drive for visitation with the family? That is what we all want to do. But today is the banquet for the athletes at the college she attends. And she wanted to know, do you think they will say anything about Josh? She said she wants to ask the Athletic Director if they have anything planned to say in his memory, and if they don't she wants to say something. She knows many of the basketball team will not be there - they will be with Josh's family. She asked if we could maybe wait and go visit them in a couple of weeks to let them know how much Josh meant to us. I think it is a great idea. So, today, we will mourn with the family from a distance. She will remember the good things, the good times, and celebrate with the other athletes. But it will be a bitter cup - for there will be an empty place at the table.
"Does Jesus care when I've said "good-bye" To the dearest on earth to me, And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks - is it aught to Him? does He see? Oh, yes, He cares. I know He cares. His heart is touched with my grief. When the day is dreary, the long night weary, I know my Saviour cares."
Oh, God, today be with all of us as we drink the bitter cup of loss. Be with the friends and families of those who feel the sting of death. Be with especially the basketball team and the ones who are traveling to be with the Bigby family. Be with my daughter, and hold her up and hold her tightly in your arms. Thank you that we have a God who cares. Amen. 04-30-06